Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Where can Ukrainians go if they cannot have shelter and heating this winter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do girls in Indian top colleges wear shorts?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can count

Will Canadians still buy American products?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Which is the most liked web series in India?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Can a meme heal what therapy can't?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have a reading level above third grade

Where did Noah build the Ark? Was it in a desert or near water?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for traitorism

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What are some downsides to living in Newfoundland and Labrador (besides the weather)?

I don’t buy bullshit

I actually pay taxes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I can read

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity